10 Greatest One-Episode South Park Characters

12 Oct

Last Wednesday, South Park returned with its mid-season premiere.  South Park is in the middle of its 15th season, having aired 217 episodes in that time.  Comedy Central has dubbed it the “Year of the Fan.” And as a spirited fan of the oft-amazing, always controversial animated series, I have put together a list of the x greatest One-Episode Characters.  Over its 217 episodes, South Park has had countless great characters. Mr Hanky, Towelie, the Woodland Critters. All classics. But those all have multi-episode appearances.  Here is a list of some of the less-featured, but still loveable, characters.

1. Ice Cream Crapping Taco

From the Season 7 episode “Cancelled” his real name is Najix.  He is producer of the reality TV show “Earth” which airs across the universe.  He takes the form of an Ice Cream Crapping Taco because it is more pleasing to the boys. He is actually a pretty casual guy, but man when that ice cream slides out his shell I laugh every time.

2.  Bradley

From Episode 2 of Season 11 entitled “Cartman Sucks” Bradley is Butters “Acountibilibuddy.”  Through a series of penises in mouths, Butters is sent to Camp New Grace to cure him of his bisexuality.  There he meets Bradley, his bunk mate.  The poor kid tells Butters he ‘likes’ him, and Butters tells him he likes him to.  Bradley is so messed up from people telling him he is confused, he tries to kill himself until Butters tells him, “God must be bi-curious too.” Bradley is actually a decent satire of the poor kids who have to go to these religious camps to cure themselves of their homosexuality.

3.  Peety, the Sexual Harassment Panda

I'm a sadddd Panda.

Oh, who could forget the Sexual Harrasment Panda? From episode 6 of Season 3, “Sexual Harrasment Panda” this panda just had trouble finding his purpose, eventually being sent to the Island of Misfit Mascots,  which had its own collection of memorable mascots.  But none were as lovable as Peetey. The sad thing is, he is not that terrible of a mascot, just maybe a little ahead of his time. By the end of the episode he has become the “Don’t Sue People Panda.” I like to think he is still travelling the country spreading the good word.

Now, enjoy his awesome song.

4. Evil Stan Clone

Season 1 of South Park was a very different time.  The show was just beginning, and while it was already causing controversy, compared to today it was quite tame.  Which brings us to “An Elephant Makes Love to A Pig,” the fifth episode of the series. The episodes main focus was Cartman wanting to have a little tiny elephant, so he tries to get it to fuck a pig. Dr Mephisto, who I think we all miss, steals some DNA from Stan so they can clone him for his sons science fair project (makes sense). The clone turns out to be a giant evil Stan, who breaks free and terrorizes the town, which all gets blamed on Stan.  Evil Stan is great for its sheer stupidity in relation to the plot. He is eventually killed by Dr. Mephisto, leaving his son with a 5 assed monkey to turn in for the science fair.

5. Evil Towel

From Towlies first episode comes Evil Towel.  The new, better Towel.  Its big muscles show he is ready for all your moisture absorbing problems. Plus, he isnt a complete stoner. But, like Evil Stan, there can be only one!

6. Thomas

ShittssFuckkPigFuckerr!

Thomas has tourettes. Which as Craig says, makes him the coolest kid in the world. From the 11th season episode, “Le Petit Tourette. Enjoy this somewhat creepy fan video.

7.  Gary Harrison (the Morman Kid)

Gary is from the Mormon family in the unforgettable episode “All About the Mormons” from Season 7.  While he gets knocked for most of the episode, mostly for being a Mormon and having ridiculous beliefs, he gets a poignant final word in. “All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan. But you were so high and mighty that you couldn’t just look past my religion and be my friend back. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do. Suck my balls.” Well said Gary.

8.  Trent Boyett

Trent Boyett was one of the biggest villains ever to walk through South Park Elementary. In Pre-School the boys got Trent sent to juvi for lighting the teacher on fire (it was the boys fault for not urinating fast enough on the fire). He comes back and terrorizes the boys, sending Butters into the hospital with titty-twisters and something called a “Polish Bike Ride.” Then he takes on the six graders and destroys them , giving one of them a “Texas Chili Bowl” which involves covering a telephone with Tabasco sauce and shoving it up their ass. He was a badass, and I am hoping he comes back for revenge one more time.

9.  Kip Drordy

Poor Kip. From Season 14 “You Have 0 Friends” Kip is memorable not only for how pathetic he is, but because he is in one of my favorite episodes of South Park ever. As a non-Facebook user, it is easy for me to laugh at drama and meaningless problems that arise from Facebook owners. Kip is one of those problems, because no one wants to be his Facebook friend. Kyle, being the sweet guy he is, decides to friend him out of pity. Kip proceeds to tell his parents about his new friend, takes his computer to the movies with him, and obsesses over his new best friend Kyle. At no point does he ever see Kyle in person. Just when he seems like he might kill himself after Kyle de-friends him, Kip gets what he needs when millions of friends get added to his account. I want more Kip!!

10. Darth Chef

Darth CHEF!!!! After the pretty public downfall of the relationship between Issac Hayes and South Park based around Issac Hayes being a bitch about them making fun of Scientology, the South Park guys had to find a way to kill him off. They do this by having him brainwashed by a ‘club’ who turn him into a child molester. In the end he is killed after being burned, beat, impaled, shot, his face is pulled off,  and his legs torn apart by a mountain lion and grizzly bear. The club revives him though! And in a scene obviously parodying the end of Star Wars Episode III…Salty Balls. I hate WordPress embedding. Watch the clip here

Did I miss anyone?

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5 Responses to “10 Greatest One-Episode South Park Characters”

  1. Anonymous May 10, 2014 at 12:47 am #

    Larry Feegan

    • Anonymous May 10, 2014 at 12:48 am #

      he’s so dead right now

    • Anonymous October 26, 2014 at 11:06 pm #

      Mole from the South Park movie

  2. Jibri November 8, 2016 at 7:33 am #

    Isaac Hayes wasn’t being a “bitch”. He couldn’t even speak for himself, he had a stroke. Someone quit for him. Matt and Trey spoke to Isaac’s son, who sorted this out with them. Isaac never cared about any of that, it was the Scientology people that did. Matt and Trey even apologized for dumping all this on him, not completely understanding the entire situation. But now that he’s dead, he won’t ever get that apology. And since that episode, fans have been blaming him for Chef’s departure. Calling him names like “bitch” and “asshole”, when he was only dying, and couldn’t speak for himself.

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